One girls bones that decided to wield a pen and put it to paper.

Mix a world without time

and no limits

nothing to be spent

or to be wasted.

No selfish or selfless acts,

deadlines are forever.

Why do I feel this way?

How is it that you are the only one to make

me feel like this.

You look at me with half-hearted eyes

fading away.

I can’t help but to smile.

I hide so often, you make me feel there.

It’s hard to explain. It’s not romance.

A look, an understanding.

A feeling, A moment.

Momories which i’ve yet chosen to forget.

I don’t know how to write about you,

there’s no way I can encompass

and envelope every feeling in one

moment I have for you. There’s no

defining that. There is no defining you.

I’m glad you’re happy.

I don’t really know if I’ll find

anyone to make me feel like you

do.

It’s often hard to represent yourself the 

way you’d like to be seen. To encorperate

everything you aspire and love into one being.



Today I cried in the kitchen about the thought

of life and how I am pro-longing of where I 

want to be, just by living. I want to be some 

place completely different, and feel like

only a strong jolt could pull me from this 

feeling.

It surrounds it all, us all.

what have you ever done for me.

everyone is striding

strength to strength

but I can’t seem to stop dwelling on the

same mistakes.

everyone is moving on without me.

I said I would wait for you, 

You just decided to get a new girl

So do I wait? 

What on earth do I do?

It hurts to know,

the only thing you know for certain

is that you won’t be with me.

You couldn’t see yourself there.

that really hurts to know.



Cheeks bitten by cold

they turn hues of pink and red

I’m calming myself,

deep breaths over, and over.

Getting lost but we’re on our way

 

inside the stomach of the mountain

slow dance in the woods

 

standing at heights of how I’m feeling

higher than birds, hugging hands

reaching up towards the sky to see something more

can’t quite reach for now

 

run to catch up with heart beats

resisting beyond my head

eyes see nothing beneath the ground

 

surround my feet on the floor

keep my pockets from getting cold

warmer lips enveloping mine.

 

sometimes

                    we

                          are

                                 sleepless

                                                  dreamers.

VII

Tiny bows of gold enveloping your body entwines us between and below

one more night

alone.

It’s so very very cold

I clench my ice jaw

 

It begins to crack and splinter

Tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth

As I try to swallow & push down

Any escaping feelings for you

 

Inside my throat

My heart

Sits & waits.

Ivy

I tug on the string inside my mouth

It unravels a tangled List of words Around my tongue

I’ve been using them quite frequently

To you. I’m confused what to say

And try to conjecture something different

Alas I’m just spitting out the same words

 

Trying to create a new story

I’m tired of writing the same things

In my little black book

Thinking about your feelings

 

I’m sick of singing about love

With my rusty voice Singing this old broken tune over And over again

Where do we go?

 

Do we have legs to stand on you’ll claim it’s in your head but it’s in mine too

what do you think?

 

I don’t know how it’s become this hard without me having to explain it

"say something”

it’s taken me so long

 

hiding below it all.

I’ll beg my tears please

help me drown my heart tonight

 

I can’t deal with it’s hurt

I have the fiction hidden inside my basement writing on its heaving chest trying to resuscitate

 

something old with

something newer

 

then my headaches begin

for so long, I ache inching each stitch of words in and out

 

I cannot leave without finishing this before I can

step up that staircase of my happiness

 

peel through the cellar door leave the heaviness down

dragging out through the collar bones and out through the nape of my neck

 

escape me.

escaping this monster inside my basement

With my new pen circled around the hope

& that was easy

 

I must digress it’s hard to digest

when there’s not much to chew around here

 

I only seem to bite my lip anymore because I know I’ve gone far past trouble and all it’s entities

Nothing

pointless

each devoured dollar,

my third eye must be blind.

 

a single day closer to the crimson ribbons

being wrapped around my throat.

 

can’t believe I’ve made it through this far, yet; only trying to escape this.

 

the pressures on,

what do you

know?

Placed the hot fork against my tongue

It’s hard to taste longer the later.

 

Because I just wasn’t waiting anymore

Tasteless or tongueless?

 

You told me I’m only happy with you do I believe that;

do I believe myself?

When I say

I’m in love.

 

Are the words taken seriously I trust not even myself

With this decision

 

I don’t want to be impatient and burn my tongue

Drag your knuckles along the ground

push everyone far away

as your heart grows smaller

and it’s harder to trust even yourself